B.U.P.
by
Joe M. Young
May 2013
Even though I was born in Texas I spent nearly my entire life in southern California. Since I started working with the Machinists Union as an organizer I have traveled a lot but only for as much as a week at a time. I always came back home to family and friends.
A year and a half ago I moved here to Michigan. Overall the people here are friendly enough but I haven’t made any friends except for the girl who lives above me in my apartment. The thing is that she is very young and has had her own problems to deal with and even though it took me a while to see it, she was not looking for any new friends.
I have never been so totally alone in my life and I basically pushed myself on her looking for some kind of companionship or company or anything. But now I see that she is just too nice to say anything to me for fear of hurting my feelings. So that leaves me back where I was when I first came here.
Even though I like change and never have a problem with change the fact remains that I am so far from anyone I know well that it might as well be a million miles from home. It’s bad enough moving completely across the country to an area that is so different from where I grew up and lived my adult life. But to do that and be so alone is wearing on me to the point that I feel I may wind up with emotional problems because of it.
But if that’s what happens, then that is what happens. Since I was old enough to date, I never would put up with someone having me around but not wanting me there. No one will ever be able to say, “That Joe can’t take a hint I guess. I don’t want him here but I have to put up with him.” No way, no day.
If you have to force yourself on someone you can’t have any dignity or self-respect. If you knowingly hang around someplace where you’re not wanted, then you are saying you’re not worthy of finding someplace that does want you there. Essentially, if you don’t want me, I certainly don’t want you. Simple as that. Don't let anyone treat you like you're a second-class citizen. Don't let them look down their haughty noses at you simply because they are spoiled and and have everything they need. And above all, NEVER, EVER be someone's Back-Up Plan. I have known people who might as well have that stamped on their foreheads because they just lay down for whatever some low-life decides he wants to do with your body and time.
Over and over I've seen guys mostly but girls too, keep going back for more to people who are too weak to tell them they are shut down for that person. How can they look themselves in the face knowing that the only time they see this stud is when he has absolutely nothing else going or when another girl kicks his useless ass to the curb. Then suddenly it's "oh hey, are you going to be home? Can I come over? I've really been wanting to see you." That is the exact point in the conversation that should go a little like this: "Oh really? You've been wanting to see me? Well you're an adult, why didn't you come over?" "Well I've been so busy." And when they say those words...and they always will, you simply tell them to find some other hole to dip their stick in and get someone else to do their laundry. Saying I've been busy is the 21st century translation for, "you come last on my list, so I'll do root canals before I stop in to see how you're doing."
When you finally stick up for yourself, you will have erased that stamp across your forehead that says, "B.U.P."
